Nearly everyone deals with existential depression. I’ve faced it countless times myself.

But a couple of years ago, I found a way to reduce the severity of my depression. This is not a guaranteed formula for success – it’s simply what seems to have worked for me.

(Before you read any further: when facing mental struggles, please reach out to a mental health professional. I mean it – it can literally be life or death.)

I stopped trying to look for a universal “why”.

There is no answer for why I exist. That fact is that I exist.

What I want to do with my existence is ultimately up to me. As long as I have some set of arbitrary goals, and I feel that I have the ability to make progress towards them, then I feel fulfilled and excited about my future.

My self-determined goals are my why. I shouldn’t justify my goals to anyone else but myself.

Many people feel the pressure of society to have a good “why”. They need to know why they are needed, what their mission is – and yet, they are not confident enough to own these missions themselves.

They look to society to make that determination. I can personally tell you that for years, I did not want to take up the responsibility of determining my why, that I kept asking society for an answer.

But society knows close to nothing about who you are, or why you should be, or what you will do – society only knows the surface, the appearance, because that is all it can discover about you. Only you know yourself.

I tried to live with society’s why in the past. It did not work – I became depressed multiple times.

But let us be absolutely, unflinchingly clear: I did not fail society’s expectations.

Society’s expectations failed me.

I kept getting reasons to do things that made no sense. Here’s an example:

You need to study, because you need good grades. You need good grades, because you need to go to a good school. You need to go to a good school, because that’s the only way to get a good job. You need to get a good job, because then you will have money. You need to have money, because then you can buy things. You need to buy things, because that is what will make you happy.

That seemed far too convoluted. For me, it was simple:

I want to study, because it makes me happy.

There will never be a universal reason for why we exist, or a universal answer for what we should do.

The fact that you are reading this article means that you are thoughtful, passionate, and gifted. As a gifted individual, shouldn’t you own your “why”, rather than letting others choose for you?

When I started owning my why, and when I felt empowered to make progress towards my personal mission, my fear and anxiety became excitement. I hope you’ll give it a try and seek your own why as well!